Friday, April 23, 2010

Uppity broads and the key to mike's heart

I don't like people. Chances are, faithful reader....I don't like you. I've never been a warm guy. That doesn't mean I wish you ill will.....it doesn't mean I won't engage in pleasant conversation with you....it just means if I had a choice between sitting home and playing with myself or interacting with you in a social situation, 999 times out of 1,000* I'd choose the former.

Having said this, I'm aware that as a person....you're required to link yourself to multiple people to go eat food or see movies with. For some reason it has been established that things like that are meant to be done in packs. What's important in assembling a pack of folks to eat food and see movies with is to find a group that doesn't annoy the fuck out of you and on occasion, really entertains and/or interests you. The PROBLEM with this process is to take into account that YOUR pack has their OWN pack. Very rarely is there a closed pack where no one has outside ties....unfortunately, this means most of the time there's gonna be shitheads at your table eating food with you that you're gonna like even less than YOUR shitheads.

Just to give you an example: in my lifetime, I've liked 4 1/4** of my packs' girlfriends....that's having multiple hockey teams and countless friends/acquaintences. This is probably less than a 10% average. I don't dislike females. I like females very much. I get along with most of the females I meet....it just seems like my friends have poor taste. It's not their fault....they chose to be friends with me. I don't judge....not out loud...but that's the game you play....you roll the dice and hope the people you associate with choose their associations well. Sometimes you get a Jesse or a Scroggins or nick fucking Hughett.....other times you get something completely different.***

*the 1 time would be if I had already spanked it the other 999 times....my dick would be tired.

**I'm still convinced one of chris dick's girlfriends had multiple personalities. One of the 4 was alot fun.

***I'm not going to bash anyone and I'm not going to defend my "uppity broad" remark either. I hope everyone is smart enough to know this isn't about one person and might just be for entertainment purposes.

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