THE SOCIAL LOTTERY AND THE 300 $500′s

I woke up with a wonderful idea this morning.

The social lottery.

Imagine it………

Most people have………what? 5-6 friends? Really popular people might have 20-30. Some people don’t have ANY…….but in any given day you run into tons of familiar people that you see on a regular basis that you decide are people you’re going to treat well or treat like dog shit. WHAT I PROPOSE is a national lottery REQUIRED BY LAW in which the weekly/monthly winner/winners get 300 $500 checks made out to 300 people of their choice. The idea here isn’t for the winner of the lottery to GET RICH necessarily, but to spread the wealth to the first 300 people they feel are deserving of the money and give them all a really good day. Now of course this will need to be monitored closely and there will have to be safeguards in place to make sure that no one is cheating or trying to scan the system……..but the PURPOSE of it would be to promote that little thing in the back of the pizza man’s mind saying “maybe if I’m really nice to this customer, I’ll be in his/her 300.”

Is it fake nice-ness because of greed? Sure. At first. But after a while, being nice to eachother will just come second nature…….then every now and then you might get a check in your hand and a thank you. With that check, you can go buy an X-box……or a new couch……whatever makes you happy. Stimulate the mother fucking economy.

I fail to see how this won’t fix everything. It’s kind of like taxes only with a competitive edge and a chance to win something. HEY! GOVERNMENT! CASINOS MAKE A FUCKLOAD OF MONEY! MAYBE YOU COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO! Give everyone a chance to get those 300 $500 checks…….they won’t be rich……but they’ll be the most popular person in town for a week or two…….until the next winner…….but you won’t FORGET the person who walked up and handed you $500. That person is your friend FOREVER……so make her chicken ceaser salad with care………bring her refills in a timely fashion……..AND THE GOVERNMENT CAN KEEP A LITTLE TO PAY OFF CHINA. WIN/WIN/WIN.

The joy of Giving and telling people you gave

I had two similar situations tonight that have left me questioning/over analyzing/keeping me awake thinking about. A friend of mine that I haven’t really kept in contact with until recently (when I needed his help) has donated a few Saturday nights to helping me with electrical shit in my new home…..GFI’s….ceiling fans….all kinds of shit. So Laura and I wanted to get him something as a thank you and decided on a best buy gift card and a “thank you” card….which in NO way begins to pay him what an electrician would charge and possibly belittles his contributions as if to say “this is all what you’ve done means to me.” that’s how a cynical person would look at it. That’s probably how I’d look at it.

My question is: does this small gesture actually express gratitude or does it just make ME feel better about taking advantage of my friend? Was it for him or was it for me? When we donate money to charities or give our old shit to goodwill, are we doing it to help people? Or are we doing it for karma? Maybe we’re just trying to convince ourselves that we’re good people….maybe we’re trying to convince OTHER PEOPLE that we’re good people.

I felt really good after sending an obnoxiously small amount of money to a collection I read about on Facebook for someone I only sort of know who lost her husband. I thought I was doing the right thing for the right reason…and then immediately fired off an email to my mom and sister, patting myself on the back. Why would I do that? Why couldn’t I just do something nice? Why do I have to be recognized for it? Am I so shallow that I can’t drop $1 in the Ronald McDonald house bucket after the person taking my order has walked away? At weddings, when I tip the person working the open bar….why do I time it so they see me do it and are obliged to awkwardly thank me while handing me my free drink? They count their tips at the end of the night. My dollar will be there. Why is HE thanking ME for ME thanking HIM? That’s what a tip is…it’s a thank you….yet bad service still warrants a tip so I DON’T COME OFF AS CHEAP….so am I tipping for them or am I tipping for me? Like “I’m doing alright. I’m gonna tip this bitch.” Isn’t expecting gratitude for me expressing gratitude just mental masturbation? Is that just the mama’s boy in me or is this the way people are? Tell me I’m not crazy for thinking this way. Tell me I’m making sense.