Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Your sleeves and pockets

I know for a fact that when I do laundry, I put one dryer sheet in the dryer with an entire load of clothes. One. Never more. What puzzles me is that once it has run its cycle and the clothes come out, get hung on hangers and placed in closets....EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING has a hidden dryer sheet in a sleeve or a pants leg.

There is no way that there isn't something fishy going on. Don't tell me I'm crazy, cause I'm not. One goes in....15 come out. There's some kind of heat activated multiplier in action.....but why? If they're more visible, are we reminded more often to purchase them? Does it increase the softness/dryness of my clothes to travel beyond the laundry room and reveal itself right before the article is worn?

....or is there something more sinister at play? Someone told me a few years ago that if I put a dryer sheet in my pocket, it keeps Mosquitos away. That seems made up....but there are studies that say its true....

<a href="http://www.emaxhealth.com/1275/bounce-dryer-sheets-repel-gnats-mosquitoes">like this one</a>

.....but really to me it seems like someone somewhere wants people carrying around dryer sheets. Whether its old wives tales about Mosquitos or the heat activated multiplier that inserts one into everything....we're being urged to bring them with us wherever we go because it benefits someone somehow. I've read enough x-men comic books to know that if an entire population is suddenly being told to carry something weird with them, some villain somewhere has a ray gun or a mind control device pointed right at their faces.

Why do they call it "bounce?" What's bouncing? Clothes don't bounce. Dryers don't bounce. I hope I'm opening your eyes to some shit here, you guys.....ask questions. Don't just ACCEPT dryer sheets into your sleeves and pockets. THAT'S HOW THEY WIN.

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