ARCHIVE: snickers cannons and intergalactic space racism

the other day i was off work and i just happened to run across a story on cnn that a gay and lesbian activist group was protesting snickers bars because their latest commercial is "homophobic." immediately i went to youtube to see this homophobic commercial for myself....

the commercial features a feminine speedwalker guy in little short shorts and a headband walking down the street.......out of nowhere, mr. t appears in a large army vehicle and begins shooting snickers bars at the man, claiming speedwalking is for sissies and he should be RUNNING like a REAL man. the man runs and mr. t yells out their new catchphrase....."get some nuts!" .....a double-triple-quadruple entendra if i've ever heard one.

so the way i look at it, and tell me if i'm wrong......why is that homophobic? i'll go a step further, isn't it MORE HOMOPHOBIC to make the jump to assume this man is gay? he isn't blowing anyone......he isn't holding any dudes' hands.......the guy's speedwalking. one of their last protests was rappers using the word "fag" as an insult to straight men who were being unmanly.....so is it the word or is it that they're using THEIR LIFESTYLE AND SEXUAL PREFERENCE AS THE BASIS TO INSULT SOMEONE? i would assume that's what it is.......so then to assume that just because this guy is being unmanly, that's their basis for assuming he's gay. AREN'T THEY KIND OF DOING THE EXACT SAME THING THEY TOLD EMINEM AND BUSTA RHYMES AND ALL THEM NOT TO DO? i don't think mr. t cared if the guy was gay or not....i think mr. t just had a fucking snickers bar gun and was looking for an excuse to shoot it at someone.

dude....do you think i'd be sitting here ranting about gay protests on cnn if i had a snickers bar gun? i'd be in your driveway right now honking the fucking horn......AND I HAVE A JOB! mr. t doesn't have ANYTHING TO DO, and he has a snickers bar gun loaded up with snickers bars. do you think he's doing investigations to determine sexual preference before he's blasting snickers bars at people? he's some kind of gay basher trying to rectify the evils of homosexuality by delivering delicious peanut, caramel and chocolate missles to them at high speeds? I HATE YOU! HERE'S A FUCKING CANDY BAR!

in the same half hour, they also discussed a story where a board of directors in texas got upset and demanded an apology because the commisioner referred to their unorganized paperwork situation as a "black hole." apparently the meeting could not continue until an apology was made......which the commisioner refused to give......because that would be the stupidest apology ever. he said "i'm not going to apologize because i was speaking of the science term." WHY CAN'T IT BE A PINK HOLE? OR A YELLOW HOLE?

cause the fucking things ARE BLACK! if he said the paperwork was A YELLOW HOLE......NO ONE WOULD KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS TALKING ABOUT!

the news reporters interviewed the guy at the end of the segment (which i have the youtube links for both at the bottom) in which he asked why devil's food cake is brown and angel's food cake is white........why the black sheep of the family is the bad one.......and then said "if i'm talking about being cheap and i say i'm gonna jew you down.....is that racist?"

well, yeah.......it is. similar to if i say "oh.....the black guy is 20 minutes late. he's on CPT." yes.....that is a statement regarding someone's ethnicity......although both stereotypes are based observations that stem from witnessing this type of behavior from a large group of one particular group......they're still including every member of an ethnicity in a group of cheap people or late people....which yes, is a bit racist....

.....but referring to the color spectrum to discuss objects......how can that be considered racist? i think we've all agreed that referring to someone as "black" or "white" is pretty much the norm.......but are we supposed to ignore that there are other things out there that also are these colors? if i say i don't like black jellybeans (which isn't true.....i LOVE black jellybeans) will a black person take offense to that? if the oakland raiders come to town, are all of the black people in the stands going to root for them as opposed to the hometown blue/yellow guys? if i decide my walls shouldn't all be white and i want to add some color to them.....do i suddenly have jungle fever? and if i'm saying things like "my walls need color," is mr. t gona shoot me with his candy cannon?

the hole is black, you fucking moron.....just cause you are also black doesn't mean you have to stick up for it.

the world has gone crazy. it's just one minority group after another finding something to rally against.....and it's annoying. DO NOT BE DEFINED BY YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE OR YOUR ETHNICITY. BE YOUR OWN PERSON. SOMEONE ELSE BEING ATTRACTED TO DUDES DOES NOT MAKE YOU BROTHERS. I KNOW LOTS OF STRAIGHT, WHITE GUYS......AND IF SOME STRAIGHT WHITE GUY GETS WRONGED BY SOMEONE IN SOME WAY.....YOU DEFINATELY WON'T SEE ME RIOTING THE STREETS OF ST. LOUIS......I'LL BE AT WORK THE NEXT DAY TRYING TO PAY MY BILLS.....AND FOR SNICKERS BARS.....cause they're delicious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkT_d2OTgv0&feature=youtube_gdata

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc1zGRUPztc&feature=youtube_gdata

megan phelps and the twitter war

the westboro baptist church recently protested hazelwood central high school....my old stomping grounds. i was CURIOUS WHY, but they don't really tell you why.....they just begin screaming bible shit at you and tell you there's perverts in the building. well, sure......there's perverts in EVERY BUILDING.

ANYWAY, I POSTED A PICTURE OF MY BUDDY ROY AT THE RALLY....

http://twitpic.com/o1ucw

AND MAGICALLY, GOT MY WISH.....A REPRESENTATIVE FROM THE "GOD HATES FAGS" FAMILY THAT WOULD ANSWER ALL OF MY QUESTIONS..........OR WOULD SHE?

(FOR YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH TWITTER, WHEN IT SAYS @SHOWZAH...THAT MEANS SHE'S TALKING TO ME. WHEN IT SAYS @CRAZYBITCH, THAT MEANS I'M TALKING TO HER.)

@showzah Thanks for publishing our picket; way to add some relevant points to the discussion! (shakes head) RT http://twitpic.com/o1ucw

@meganphelps I was trying to figure out what you wackos were protesting. Is it just random hate/crap or do you have a process for selecting?

@meganphelps ummmm....hey there. I really am curious what the protest was about.

@meganphelps if you're "spreading god's word," you're doing a crappy job. Answer questions.

@meganphelps your dumb website just has lyrics to your dumb song. That's not an explanation. It's a parody. A JOKE. what's the protest FOR?

@showzah Have u seen my timeline? I answer lots of ?s; there's just a lot of them - gotta prioritize! What picket r u asking about again?

@meganphelps hazelwood central/Florissant, MO. If you're passionate enough to fly out here, isn't telling the people here why a high priority?

PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE A CHARACTER LIMIT...SO I DON'T REALLY GET TO BE VERY ARTICULATE. TWITTER'S KIND OF DUMB.

@showzah Uh huh -- that's why we issue press releases. See how that works? =) http://tiny.cc/BqpwA

@meganphelps bible jargon and vague nonsense. That doesn't tell me anything. God hates the school...great. WHY does god hate the school?

@showzah He hates u 4 teaching kids rebellion: that it's ok 2 b gay, 2 fornicate, 2 murder babies - tho God says He'll curse u 4 those sins!

@showzah You're not seriously denying that, are you? Anyone w. a single brain cells knows that under the headings of "diversity" &

@showzah "tolerance," you promote what God hates. In this generation, you're a freak if you're not having sex by the time you're 14 or so.

@showzah CNN published a story showing that 25% of girls 14 to 19 have STD's. & if u say 1 word to suggest that it's not a great idea to be

@showzah a fag (in violation of God's clear standard, for which He promises to cure you), you're "homophobic" & "hateful." You've flipped

@showzah every standard on its head, such that "good" is now "evil" & vice versa. See Isa 5:20: "woe unto you!" i.e. God hates you for that!

@meganphelps do you even know specifics or do you follow Freddy blindly? This is a script you're reading from.

@meganphelps are you allowed to think for yourself or are you a scripted customer service rep of hate?

@meganphelps I'm really glad you guys are out in public and not at home breeding. That can be your gift to the world.

@meganphelps you're not replying to my questions, woman. You're throwing out your pre-written talking points. TALK NORMAL!

@showzah I did to! WE PICKET TO WARN YOU: YOUR JOB IS TO OBEY GOD! YOU AREN'T DOING IT! HE'LL CURSE YOU FOR THAT! How much plainer can I be?

@meganphelps how do you know anyone's relationship with god? You don't talk to people. You talk AT them. Shake hands. Have a chat.

@meganphelps the Mormons knock on doors....ride little bikes....hand out pamphlets....you guys' methods are a bit tacky in comparison.

@meganphelps I'm no fan of Mormons or anything.....just sayin'

@showzah U don't know that we talk to ppl a LOT, bc u don't talk to us; you rant & pretend not to understand simple concepts, which gets

@showzah the conversation exactly NOWHERE. U wanna talk methods? Read Jude (a short book; I memorized it, so don't pretend u can't do it!).

@meganphelps you're calling me a "ranter?" boy are YOU a CRACKPOT calling the kettle black. i understand the concept just fine. it's simple.

@meganphelps the concept is this: you think you're right. everyone thinks they're right...you're just pushy and crazy...so you're noticed.

@meganphelps but OUT-LOUD-ING someone doesn't win an argument. having a good point does...and if you don't have words of your own, how can

@meganphelps you argue? by quoting OTHER PEOPLES' WORDS....it's just silly. you're silly. a silly woman with a washed mind. grow up.

@meganphelps get yourself a nice dress. read a mystery novel or something. eat a cheeseburger. live YOUR life...

@meganphelps ever see free willy? little kid and a whale. good movie. rent it. i bet you cry. it gets you. i'm telling you...it gets you.

@meganphelps i hope it's internet shorthand and you do know the difference between too/to/two. were you all home schooled?

@meganphelps shouldn't those poor kids you drag around be in school? you're not teaching them english, are you?

@meganphelps i guess in the world of phelps, all you need is to learn how to copy and paste though, right?

@showzah What can I say? 140-character limits suck! Public school. Graduated w/BBA in Finance (4.0). None of it matters if u don't obey God.

@meganphelps i understand the 140-character limit and i'll take your word for it. you're not going to watch free willy, are you?


@showzah Unlikely. =) I remember starting it when I was little, but it didn't hold my attn, so I didn't finish it. I'm way more of a reader!


SHE MIGHT BE DONE WITH ME AFTER I RECOMMENDED FREE WILLY....A FILM IN WHICH A GAY WHALE KIDNAPS A SMALL BOY.....I HOPE IT WAS A GOOD READ FOR YOU GUYS. I'M STILL HERE.....JUST NOT AS FRISKY AS I USED TO BE.

HUGS AND KISSES,

MIKE