Thursday, November 12, 2009

ARCHIVE: snickers cannons and intergalactic space racism

the other day i was off work and i just happened to run across a story on cnn that a gay and lesbian activist group was protesting snickers bars because their latest commercial is "homophobic." immediately i went to youtube to see this homophobic commercial for myself....


the commercial features a feminine speedwalker guy in little short shorts and a headband walking down the street.......out of nowhere, mr. t appears in a large army vehicle and begins shooting snickers bars at the man, claiming speedwalking is for sissies and he should be RUNNING like a REAL man. the man runs and mr. t yells out their new catchphrase....."get some nuts!" .....a double-triple-quadruple entendra if i've ever heard one.


so the way i look at it, and tell me if i'm wrong......why is that homophobic? i'll go a step further, isn't it MORE HOMOPHOBIC to make the jump to assume this man is gay? he isn't blowing anyone......he isn't holding any dudes' hands.......the guy's speedwalking. one of their last protests was rappers using the word "fag" as an insult to straight men who were being unmanly.....so is it the word or is it that they're using THEIR LIFESTYLE AND SEXUAL PREFERENCE AS THE BASIS TO INSULT SOMEONE? i would assume that's what it is.......so then to assume that just because this guy is being unmanly, that's their basis for assuming he's gay. AREN'T THEY KIND OF DOING THE EXACT SAME THING THEY TOLD EMINEM AND BUSTA RHYMES AND ALL THEM NOT TO DO? i don't think mr. t cared if the guy was gay or not....i think mr. t just had a fucking snickers bar gun and was looking for an excuse to shoot it at someone.


dude....do you think i'd be sitting here ranting about gay protests on cnn if i had a snickers bar gun? i'd be in your driveway right now honking the fucking horn......AND I HAVE A JOB! mr. t doesn't have ANYTHING TO DO, and he has a snickers bar gun loaded up with snickers bars. do you think he's doing investigations to determine sexual preference before he's blasting snickers bars at people? he's some kind of gay basher trying to rectify the evils of homosexuality by delivering delicious peanut, caramel and chocolate missles to them at high speeds? I HATE YOU! HERE'S A FUCKING CANDY BAR!


in the same half hour, they also discussed a story where a board of directors in texas got upset and demanded an apology because the commisioner referred to their unorganized paperwork situation as a "black hole." apparently the meeting could not continue until an apology was made......which the commisioner refused to give......because that would be the stupidest apology ever. he said "i'm not going to apologize because i was speaking of the science term." WHY CAN'T IT BE A PINK HOLE? OR A YELLOW HOLE?


cause the fucking things ARE BLACK! if he said the paperwork was A YELLOW HOLE......NO ONE WOULD KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS TALKING ABOUT!


the news reporters interviewed the guy at the end of the segment (which i have the youtube links for both at the bottom) in which he asked why devil's food cake is brown and angel's food cake is white........why the black sheep of the family is the bad one.......and then said "if i'm talking about being cheap and i say i'm gonna jew you down.....is that racist?"


well, yeah.......it is. similar to if i say "oh.....the black guy is 20 minutes late. he's on CPT." yes.....that is a statement regarding someone's ethnicity......although both stereotypes are based observations that stem from witnessing this type of behavior from a large group of one particular group......they're still including every member of an ethnicity in a group of cheap people or late people....which yes, is a bit racist....


.....but referring to the color spectrum to discuss objects......how can that be considered racist? i think we've all agreed that referring to someone as "black" or "white" is pretty much the norm.......but are we supposed to ignore that there are other things out there that also are these colors? if i say i don't like black jellybeans (which isn't true.....i LOVE black jellybeans) will a black person take offense to that? if the oakland raiders come to town, are all of the black people in the stands going to root for them as opposed to the hometown blue/yellow guys? if i decide my walls shouldn't all be white and i want to add some color to them.....do i suddenly have jungle fever? and if i'm saying things like "my walls need color," is mr. t gona shoot me with his candy cannon?


the hole is black, you fucking moron.....just cause you are also black doesn't mean you have to stick up for it.


the world has gone crazy. it's just one minority group after another finding something to rally against.....and it's annoying. DO NOT BE DEFINED BY YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE OR YOUR ETHNICITY. BE YOUR OWN PERSON. SOMEONE ELSE BEING ATTRACTED TO DUDES DOES NOT MAKE YOU BROTHERS. I KNOW LOTS OF STRAIGHT, WHITE GUYS......AND IF SOME STRAIGHT WHITE GUY GETS WRONGED BY SOMEONE IN SOME WAY.....YOU DEFINATELY WON'T SEE ME RIOTING THE STREETS OF ST. LOUIS......I'LL BE AT WORK THE NEXT DAY TRYING TO PAY MY BILLS.....AND FOR SNICKERS BARS.....cause they're delicious.




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