Agiminera and the clone war

Every band That has ever become remotely popular has seen many similar acts pop up to try to leech off that success. For every nirvana, there's a bush....for every nickelback, there's a theory of a deadman....for every maroon 5 or coldplay, there's a million other pussy bands like onerepublic or keane to get signed to attempt to steal some of that thunder.* no one has been more successful at the cloning process, however, than Christina aguilera. In the late 90's/early 2000's....Britney spears was all the rave. Eventually, the clones started pouring in....Mandy Moore.....Jessica Simpson....and most notably, Christina aguilera. She genie in a bottled her way to the top of the charts by playing the "cute little blonde chick in jeans" role....then when Britney went slut.....Christina soon followed. After a while, they settled into seperate careers....one went nuts/got married twice/shaved her head....one took some time out of the spotlight and did a direct
tv commercial.

Then lady gaga hit. One part Madonna....one part Cher....one part transexual burlesque show....the god damn chick was weird. Is she super talented? No. But she's insanely creative and her songs are catchy.

So Christina aguilera showed her true colors and did it again. The chameleon of pop music assumed the identity of what is now the trend. She decided "I was Britney....I can be lady gaga now too" and put out the ironically titled "not myself tonight." have you ever been yourself, Christina? Do you even know what that means?

The saddest part is: she's 10x more gifted than the people she replicates....and in most cases, the musical style doesn't lend itself to her big voice. ANYONE can sing this shit with all the processing and auto-tuning channels it runs through....but BITCH CAN SING, man....for some reason though, she has chosen not to showcase that....

Listen to how that sounds. THAT WOULD BE LIKE GEORGE CARLIN, ARGUABLY THE GREATEST STAND-UP COMEDIAN OF ALL-TIME, SAYING "YES. MY MATERIAL IS BRILLIANT, EDGY AND FUCKING HILARIOUS....BUT I THINK I'M GOING TO VIDEO TAPE ANDREW DICE CLAY'S NURSERY RHYMES AND MEMORIZE THEM SO I CAN DO THAT INSTEAD.

Is it the same thing? No. Would christina's original music be any good?probably not. But in a WORLD OF AUTO-TUNE AND REALLY AWFUL KINDA RAP VALLEY GIRL SHIT** if you CAN actually sing, is that something to be ashamed of? It's not like you're writing anything anyway, christina.....Take off that silly mask, put on a mini-skirt and do something original....for once in your god damn life...even if that means telling your writers/managers/handlers "I'm tired of doing other peoples' act. I've got talent and a fanbase. Let's try something new."

*I'm not saying any of those first bands are terribly original...just saying coldplay made pussy rock popular at a time pussy rock wasn't popular. Everyone borrows from somewhere. Music's formula is pretty well set.

**I'm looking at you, Kesha. Your shit sounds like the first five seconds of sir mix alot's "baby got back" mixed with kangaroos raping eachother's mouths. Please die in a fire.