ARCHIVE: where my boogers are and stereotypical man things

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

someone accused me today of having never been "all that manly." the more i think about it.......the more i question the validity of that statement. i mean.......i guess IN ALL HONESTY, stereotypical "manly" things (drinking, working on cars, watching football) i don't do alot of.......(except every now and then, when it's time to wash it and the superbowl) i DO have rather manly habits though........i fart and burp........i scratch my balls when they itch........i tend to be hairy........i play hockey........i have a penis AND balls........ ...but i think my most notable manly trait is i'm fucking gross. working at the job i work at, i go to many different locations and you can immediately tell whether that location is maintained by a man or a woman based on the condition of the restroom there. this is a public storage public restroom at a location ran by a woman. SHE BOUGHT THE LITTLE FUZZY SHIT OUT OF HER OWN POCKET.......AS WELL AS THE TISSUES....... i, on the other hand have this weird stuff growing along the edge of the water which i've been attempting to attack with my streams of piss. (having targets are important to my overall enjoyment of the urinating experience) i fear that if i had a fuzzy thing, i would feel a need to pee on it as well......as i do the sink on occasion partly because i can and partly because i'm too lazy to lift the lid (i'm not talking SEAT, i never lift that......im talking about the LID.....) there's something about certain things that almost seem to REQUIRE i pee on them. this could be an animal instinct...... i pick my nose alot. i generally just roll the boogers up between my index finger and my thumb and drop it to the floor. that means your floors probably have my boogers on them........home, office or car.......doesnt matter. boogers. fingernails too. i bite them. then i spit them out. i also brush my teeth over a trashcan while watching TV cause my ADD kicks in if i spend a couple minutes hovering over a sink. so i'm just as manly as the manliest of men. i may not be covered in oil, grease and dirt.........i may not be able to carry you real far in my arms........i may not be able to rip my shirt off while growling.......but i don't dry my hands off with a towel cause that's WHY WE WEAR PANTS......plus i do have a penis. AND balls.